Joe Budden and DJ Akademiks have both discussed what led to Budden leaving the Complex show Everyday Struggle after less than a year.
But we haven't heard what the least famous and most female member of the former team thought about the surprising departure.
On Christmas Eve, Nadeska Alexis jumped on Twitter and spoke on losing Joe.
Some @EverydayStrugg fans have been (understandably) annoyed by my silence after all the chaos last week. But I needed some distance from the situation to clear my head before explaining how I feel. So here goes...
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
I'm really fucking hurt.
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
After a successful but extremely rocky year behind the scenes, I was looking forward to a holiday break, so that we -- Joe, Akademiks, myself -- could return in January, stronger than ever...
That little dysfunctional family we built has been through a lot, but I felt like it was only the beginning of our journey.
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
I was wrong.
And it hurts. And now part of me feels naive for even believing it would last...
If you watched ES from the beginning, you know it took us awhile to build chemistry on-air, w/ everyone mercilessly criticizing us (as the Internet does). 8 mths in, I looked at these 2 like the crazy brothers I never had & as teammates. fight one day, make up the next...
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
When it comes to Joe, I considered him to be a friend. I expressed to him many times that I wanted this family to stick together for 2018. But sometimes things just aren't in your control, and it's not for a lack of effort...
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
Finally, I have to address this sickening "boys club" storyline that some ES fans have been attacking me with. My mother always told me that being female AND black would mean working twice as hard to get half the respect...
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
It's been painful to watch everything we built fall apart in such a public & messy way. And after months of 5am mornings & struggling BTS to keep this show on the rails...it's been tough to become the punching bag for fans, who think that I wanted it to fail.
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
I'll never be able to wrap my mind around that one.
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
It's X-mas here in Germany as I write this. So...Frohe Weihnachten aus Deutschland. Hope you're spending the holidays with people you love & hope you're feeling more at peace than I am. Akademiks and I have one more week of evergreen episodes airing, then we're dark til Jan
— Nadeska Alexis (@neweryork) December 25, 2017
You gonna miss the old Everyday Struggle dynamic?