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Everybody Was Looking At Porn After Hawaii's False Missile Alert Was Lifted

By HHL JT
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Last Saturday, Hawaiins woke up to a shocking message.

BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL," read the message texted to everyone on the island.

Similar messages were scrolled on television.

38 minutes later, at 8:45 AM, it was revealed to be a false alarm.

So what did Hawaiians do upon learning they weren't about to die?

Well, they looked at porn.

As you can see, Pornhub traffic from Hawaii spiked almost 50 percent above what it normally is once residents realized they weren't facing down a missile.

On the other hand (so to speak) at least they weren't looking up their favorite ATM MILFS  when they were supposed to be taking shelter. 

 
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