DMX stands accused of robbing a man of $3200 early Easter Sunday morning and then fleeing the Newark, NJ gas station the crime allegedly took place in a four Escalade motorcade.

It's a pretty absurd scenario. But since it's DMX -- and since the police are seriously investigating it -- we have to take it seriously, too.

DMX's lawyer Murray Richman, however, doesn't want us to take the allegations seriously. He told E! that the "victims''s story is "completely absurd" and that his client is innocent.

"[DMX] was leaving a show, a very successful show, and he stopped for gas," Richman said. "Four young men approached him for a photo. They took photos and they offered (DMX) drugs. He said no and told them to go … They had an argument and next thing you know, they are accusing him of robbery. Just nonsense."

But we're still trying to wrap our head around the part where the drug dealers/offerers call the cops.

There is something more to this story.